MotorMouths

The 200 shows how Band-Aids on sheet metal never really stick. It won’t help Chrysler sputter out of the parking lot. If this is the best vehicle Detroit exports, then Glenn Beck is right.

The Santa Fe isn’t a bad vehicle. But Hyundai has raised the bar on itself, and there’s very little that makes you say, “Wow, I really want one of these.” The expectation has become that every compact SUV needs to be the best in the bunch. The Santa Fe is not even in the top five.

For 26 years, the 4Runner has run the roads of America — carrying families to and fro, hauling boats and all of those toys people must have. But today, it comes across as bloated and tired. It’s the hangover of our own excesses and a symbol of times gone by.

The Suzuki SX4’s features don’t outweigh the lack of power and underwhelming gas mileage. The SX4, even with all-wheel drive, is not nearly as capable or as fun as something like the Honda Fit, Nissan Versa or Chevrolet Aveo.

For someone who just has to have a convertible, doesn’t want to spend too much money and wants to carry at least two other adults, the Chrysler 200 convertible is a viable — and decent — option.

In the automotive world, the Biggest Loser is the 2011 Infiniti QX56 — and there’s no hope it’s going to transform into a svelte G37 sedan. No, at the end of the season, the QX56 will still blot out the sun when parked on top of a hill.

The Mazda2 isn’t a bad car. It has a stylish exterior and decent interior, but it still slots into the “thanks, but no thanks” category for many American car buyers like myself. On Mazda’s Zoom-Zoom scale, the Mazda2 is more of a Zzzz.

The biggest dilemma with the FJ is its purpose when you’re not in the woods or on a trail. It’s fantastic to romp through the hills at Silver Lake in the FJ Cruiser, but getting there would be a bear. Most Toyotas would be exactly the opposite.

The Legacy’s CVT works much better than most of the CVTs in cars from just a few years ago. But do I like the CVT? Not really. But I can get used to it and in the coming years, people will just get used to it.

The ride is soft and the handling so-so. The Jetta provides performance similar to its oatmeal exterior: Nothing worth tasting. Even cutting through the curvy roads around California, the Jetta never screamed “go faster”; instead, it whined, “I hate hills”.

The Infiniti M has all the trappings of a great car. It’s beautiful, loaded with power and performance and cutting edge technology. But it still seems to be searching for its soul. There’s a sterile quality about all of it. It’s stoic and impersonal, and maybe that’s exactly what it wants to be.

This seventh-generation Camry never breaks ground or even maintains the ground it once held. That’s unlikely to deter many loyal Toyota customers, but there are just too many other midsize cars better than the Camry to ignore.